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A
Farewell to Babes in Arms
I
never saw it coming! I was up at
4:45
this morning to
wake up my youngest son and get him to the school for his Senior High trip to
Cincinnati
's King's
Island
. Since Kim has been
in pain the past few days, I suggested she sleep in and take it easy. He's
usually hard to roust in the morning, so I was surprised to see him ready 15
minutes early. "I don't know," he said as we were getting in the car.
"I'm really wide awake this morning." "Special day," I
offered "Those will get the adrenalin going. You sure you have everything
... med, money, blanket, pillow..." "Dad, let's go ... yes! I've got
everything."
As
we arrived at the school, it was a much different scene than usual. No cheery
faces or gossip circles in the corners of the building. No smokers over at the
fence by the football field trying to not be seen. Just tired, sleepy children;
piling their meager belongings by the bus. All looking like they can't wait to
get to their seats to catch up on the other half of the night's sleep. Mitch
pops the door open, greets a girl next to our car and grabs his soda cooler from
the back seat. "Bye dad." "Bye, bud, see you tomorrow at
four." And like that, he's gone; and I'm leaving the parking lot. I
withstood the temptation to watch him leave. No need to put that embarrassment
on him.
The
radio is playing something, but I'm not listening. The sun peeks over the
horizon, and then jumps out to start the new day. "A new day indeed,"
I say to myself. "Three more weeks, and we'll have no more children ... our
last will be grown up." Oh, he'll still be around for a couple of years
anyway probably, until he goes through college. And Melissa will still be around
for a couple of years with Dylan, until she gets through with her nursing
program. But it's not the same. A lump starts to form in my throat. I swallow a
time or two, but it remains steadfast to remind me of the pain of new birth.
We've
had children around for 22 years now, what will life be like without them? I
remember falling in love with Kim, getting married and stepping out together to
face all the adventures life would offer us. But we were their age, 19 and 20.
Within a couple of years, we had our first child. Within 3 more years, we had
two more. We settled down very quickly and faced life's adventures as a family.
This is indeed a new day, and a little scary. We've always had to be in contact
with the home base, calling on relatives or baby sitters just to check in
occasionally. My children have been my identity, what will I do without them to
tell me who I am?
A
tear forms slowly and slides tentatively down my cheek. "No use resisting
this," I mutter to myself. Another follows after. Then the other side
starts, seeing that the ice has been broken. But an odd companion joins up with
the tears and lump in the throat, a smile creeps across my face. And this
scripture, Ecclesiastes 3:1-13 comes to mind:
For
everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is
planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from
embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has
given to the sons of men to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in
its time; also he has put eternity into man's mind, yet so that he cannot find
out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I know that there is
nothing better for them than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they
live; also that it is God's gift to man that every one should eat and drink and
take pleasure in all his toil.
"He
has made everything beautiful in its time." This time is over; and to
persist in holding onto my children as children is to rob them of all I have
enjoyed. They are now adults; ready to joins the ranks of us who complain about
work and neighbors and politics. They are forging ahead to makes lives of their
own, only taking with them what they can carry with them; our love, our
blessings and the lessons we have been able to teach them over the years.
The
selection of scripture ends with, "...it is God's gift to man that every
one should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil." My family, my
children, have been my toil for over two decades now. And the smile on my face
reminds me that I have taken pleasure, great pleasure, in all the toil that I
have done in raising my children. More than they will ever know, until it is
time for them to let go of their children. My prayer today is that I will be an
even better father to Dustin, Melissa and Mitchell, as I have been to my little
children; Dusty-Bear, Lissy-Frog and Mitchy-Mouse. I hope to be able to release
them into adulthood as well as I have embraced them and held them close over the
years of their childhood.
Come
around anytime, I’ll be here and so will God.
To
send Pastor Dennis an email, just click on his name.
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