I was just thinking about ...
Unfaithful
Mudpies
I’ve
been gone too long. Way too long, sorry about that. I had a bit of a problem.
Not just feeling down and not just writer’s block. No, I could deal with
these, making sense and light of them at the same time; not to mention seeing
God peeking at me around the corner with that smile on His face. No, this time,
I feel like I had fallen into a really deep spiritual mud puddle and I was just
sitting there feeling sorry for myself for a while. The scary part is … it
felt good. Yeah, I just wanted to sit there and feel sorry for myself and cry
out to God, “God, help me; I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” I’m
surprised I couldn’t hear God laughing at me. Perhaps God would have, had the
whole scene not been so pathetic.
Let me correct something here real quick. I wouldn’t say it was a
“fall” into the puddle; more like a long walk into it. A long, slow,
sleepwalk into thick, gooey muck I never saw coming. It seemed like I was having
a good time doing my pastor thing; working on sermons, church history lessons,
working with youth, throw in a home visit or two and things were going good. At
least I thought they were. And then I woke up.
At least it seemed like I woke up. All I know is, suddenly I’m feeling
dirty and miserable ... and useless. I’m still not sure what all happened.
Maybe that’s the most frightening thing for me. I don’t know what happened,
so I can’t take steps to prevent it from happening again. I just wanted to cry
and maybe quit. Look for another job. “God, you made a mistake, I’m not cut
out for this.” “NEXT, get another person in here!” That’s what I wanted
to cry out. But what I was really hoping for was for God to swing low and pick
me up from the mess I had found myself in. I was happily crying out to God in my
misery, waiting for divine intervention.
And then on the way home from a Doctor’s appointment, something hit me.
I needed to pick myself up and get going again. If you’ve ever seen the movie,
“Robin Hood – Men in Tights”, you’ll appreciate the mental image I was
seeing regarding myself. It was like when Robin knocks Little John off the
bridge and into a trickling creek. Little John is struggling frantically to keep
from drowning in an inch of water. A chuckle started, and then another, suddenly
I was roaring at myself. All I had to do was stand up on my feet. About this
time, Allister Begg came on the radio with his radio ministry, “Truth for
Life”. And amazingly, he was addressing my situation. To put a half hour into
a couple of sentences, he referred to the ever-popular saying; let go and let
God. He then emphasized that to pray without any follow through shows a poor
faith. By doing that, one puts everything on God and dodges one’s own
responsibility for interacting in the world around us. In short, saying “God,
you be your own image, I can’t do it”. If you’re reading this, Allistair,
and I’m getting it wrong, please forgive me. That’s what your message said
to me. Of course, the laughter was followed with total disgust for my attitude.
And following that was a quick stop to say, “Sorry God, for being such a
self-absorbed dufus.”
The church is called to be Christ to the world. And as each of us is a
part of the church, we are called to be Christ to the world. And how does it
look if we always say, “You do it God, I can’t”. Christ and God empowers
each of us with the presence of the Holy Spirit to do great and powerful things.
They also empower us to do ordinary things with the Holy Spirit, like getting up
again when we fall in the mud. Now it’s true that it’s God working through
us and all the glory goes to God. Don’t get me wrong there. But there is also
a requirement that we at least give a bit of enthusiasm and effort. Because if
we’re not willing to try, what does that say about faith? Remember, the entire
world is watching the examples our faith shouts out. And it will shout something
out, either good or bad.
Where am I going with this? I don’t exactly know, but maybe this: next
time you catch yourself crying out to God for help, look at what you do next. Do
you stand up and take action believing that God is with you? Or do you sit
contentedly in the mire making mudpies? Think about it and…
Come
by anytime, I’ll be here and so will God.
Pastor
Dennis