I was just thinking about ...
You
know, you can get the craziest ideas at any time. Kim and I were recently on
vacation. And after a long day of sightseeing, we came back to our room, flipped
on the television and flopped on our beds. “Men in Black” had just started
and we thought, “Great, we’ll get to kick back and relax with a movie we
both like.” About that time, though, a small exchange took place that got me
thinking. It’s at the time when “K” tells Will Smith a little about the
job. He’ll see things he’s never seen before, be aware of things not of this
world and see wonders only imagined. Will asks him back, “What’s the
catch?” He’s informed he will have all ties to his previous life cut. His
records will all be erased; his former self won’t exist anymore. And people
won’t see him anymore; he’ll only be remembered as a fleeting thought.
“K” gives him the night to think it over. As he rises to leave, Will Smith
asks him, “Is it worth it?” The reply, “Oh yeah … if you’re strong
enough!”
“If
you’re strong enough.” Something about that hit me. I used to have an easy
time with questions regarding my faith. And then the pull got harder and I
started asking more questions; ones that seem to elude any answer, much less
easy answers. It becomes more and more frustrating. Sometimes I question whether
or not I am getting into matters that are dangerous. Maybe these are matters
best left for God. And yet, there is something about the mystery of God and the
relationship between God and humans that continually draws me in deeper. I find
it impossible to believe that being drawn to the mystery of God can be wrong.
But it sure is frustrating sometimes.
I
look in awe at those who enjoy life following a very simple faith. And I wish I
could be satisfied with that. But early on, the draw to dive into the deep end
and explore the infinite stretches of God seemed irresistible to me. The
questions that surround me take me to the gray areas of God. No, not gray, but
all the colors of the rainbow. Very little is black and white, yes or no, when I
gaze upon the majesty of my Creator. So many possibilities, so many
alternatives, how does God decide, how does God possibly stay on top or the
endless options? And in the end, I have to set back and think, “Because God is
God … that’s why … I guess”
I
thought about what I have given up to study God in this way and I smile. My
thoughts have taken me to places that trouble some of my friends. They think I
think too much about God instead of just accepting God the way God is. And I
wonder if they are right. But the draw continues. I wonder about the state of my
own mental health from time to time. (I’ll just bet you’re wondering about
it right now!) But I’ll also bet that there are a few of you out there that
are nodding your heads in agreement with me right now. You too, are drawn in by
the majesty of God. You stand in awe at times when a thought hits you and people
wonder what you’re thinking about.
Yeah, I see that smile on your face. It’s the same that’s on mine.
Because I know that in my own way, I’m showing God respect by giving not just
my efforts, but every conscious thought. And all I ask in return, is a glimpse,
a peek, a passing glance at the majestic, radiant glory that surrounds my Lord.
I only hope I’m strong enough to behold what the Lord’s got in store for me.
Drop
on by anytime, I'll be here and so will God,
Dennis